For me motherhood has been like a four way mirror—you know the one on the older TV show What Not to Wear. They show up in their favorite everyday attire. Usually something baggy. And once they step into a room surrounded by mirrors they realize that the outfit they THOUGHT looked (at least) OK on them actually makes them look frumpy and overweight.
Just like that, motherhood shows me the actual reality of myself. The ugly parts that still remain and need a “makeover” or overhaul.
It’s easy for me to focus on my kids actions and correcting those and noting their progress when all the while those attitudes they have or the bad mood they are in are also pointing out my own sin and flaws and all those things in my life that aren’t like Christ.
When my son is crying for the millionth time in a day and I respond with raising my voice. Or my kids are fighting and instead of addressing the heart issues at hand I take the lazy way out and only hand out punishments and harsh responses. When I would rather scroll my phone than listen to my daughters stories. All of it is sin and selfishness. And they’re good at helping expose it on a daily bases.
This process though—it’s painful. It HURTS! Anytime you’re being refined it isn’t easy. It’s hard to look in the four way mirror everyday and have the reality of your selfishness and sin staring back at you so clearly when you thought you were at least doing A-OK.
At the end of the day it’s a huge way God has ordained in my life to make me more like Him. And as painful as it is I’m thankful He hasn’t allowed me to remain in my baggy sweat pants and oversized T-shirt thinking that it’s a good look on me. It ain’t. It’s UGLY. It needs to go! Even if He has to pry the beloved old T-shirt from my hands Himself. He’s gonna take care of it! That’s His job.
And when it’s all said and done I will be better for it!
